Knowing the right things to say during sex has eluded many of us at some point.
Sex, pleasure, and the best way to achieve orgasms vary from couple to couple. What gets you in the mood might be someone else’s ultimate turn-off. But, new research has revealed that one thing can ensure sexual satisfaction more than sexy lingerie and foreplay — and it’s not “dirty” at all. It’s actually talking about love. Awwww.
The study, conducted by Chapman University, examined the sex lives of 39,000 married couples and cohabiting heterosexual men and women who have been with their partners for more than three years. They found that saying “I love you” during sex was the top behavior for guaranteeing satisfaction with 75 percent of satisfied men and 74 percent of satisfied women admitting they do it.
In addition to telling your partner you love them, researchers have also found that simply describing what you’re feeling or thinking in the moment, instead of trying to force “dirty talk”, is one of the safest ways to keep from looking like a fool while trying to sound sexy. For example, instead of saying something like “harder” or “deeper” (two very common “sex words” that can actually make a man feel like he doesn’t measure up), try saying something like “I love the way your dick fills me up”. Or if you’re a guy, try saying something like “Fuck, I love the way you taste”. In both cases, only say it if you truly feel that way. If you sincerely mean the sexy things you’re saying, the words are much less important because the feeling will come across.
Other things that were found to boost satisfaction were mixing it up and trying new things, taking time to set the mood, and putting effort into foreplay. Basically, you get out what you put in.
The study found that only half of the couples involved considered themselves to be sexually satisfied and that other sexual acts — like showering together and using sex toys — were lacking.
“Almost half of satisfied and dissatisfied couples read sexual self-help books and magazine articles, but what set sexually satisfied couples apart was that they actually tried some of the ideas,” said Dr. David Frederick, assistant professor of psychology at Chapman University and lead author of the study.
In conclusion, sex is like a marriage in the sense that it needs commitment, effort, and passion to be successful. So, if you’re feeling less than happy in the bedroom, why not try something new or tell your partner just how you feel about them?