Being married means getting to know your partner inside and out — their strengths, weaknesses, fears, dreams, and the hottest things that turn them. And when you’re in love with someone, turn-ons that might have seemed scandalous before you said “I do” may strike you as downright tame.
But it’s impossible to get inside of anyone’s head and truly understand every single thing that makes them tick — or, in this case, that makes them hot. And some guys don’t want to share — whether it’s because they’re embarrassed, they don’t want to rock the boat, or they just want to keep some fantasies private. These happily married men said they have satisfying sex lives, but that they’ve kept these secret turn-ons from their wives.
1. “My wife is telling her friend what to do the whole time — teaching her.”
“Sometimes I have this fantasy where my wife invites her best friend over, we have a few drinks, and then she starts telling her (in front of me) how I like to be sucked and have sex. Then they both get on their knees and begin giving me a blow job. What makes it crazy hot is that my wife is telling her friend what to do the whole time — teaching her. I would never tell my wife about this — she would kill me.” —Joe P., 35, Queens, N.Y.
2. “Rimming — definitely rimming.”
“Rimming — definitely rimming. One time, my wife licked my balls and I made it really obvious I was into it, hoping she’d move her head down more. I tried to lick her anus once when I was going down on her, partly because I’m into it, but also because I thought it would send her the message to try it on me. But she hated it and made me stop. She thinks the whole area is dirty, but I think it’s hot. One of my exes used to do it to me and, even though I’m glad that relationship is over, I miss the rimming.” — Brian C., 29, Hoboken, N.J.
3. “I want to have sex with my wife while her friends watch.”
“Our sex life is great, but there’s one fantasy I have: I want to have sex with my wife while her friends watch. Sometimes when we have sex, I leave the blinds in our bedroom open on purpose — even though I know the neighbors can’t see through the shrubs. But what turns me on more is thinking about having her friends over, taking her into the bedroom to fuck her, leaving the door open, and knowing her friends are watching us.” —Jim A., 39, Eugene, OR.
4. “Pornos of women who look nothing like my wife.”
“I don’t watch a lot of porn, but I have a few videos saved on my computer. I think my wife would be shocked if she saw the women that turn me on. They don’t really look like her. My wife is beautiful — she’s tall, has a great body, and has blonde hair. A lot of the women in [the porn I watch] have bigger bodies and bigger boobs, and I think Asian women are hot. I love being married to my wife and we have great sex — porn is just fantasy. But I don’t think she’d understand.” —Chris S., 41, Fort Lauderdale
5. “My fantasy involves a basket.”
“OK, I never tell anyone this because my fantasy is weird and it involves a basket. When I was a teenager, an older guy told me about some kind of sex club in Manhattan where a woman will climb into a low hanging wicker basket, you lay down under her, and she lowers herself onto you to have sex. So, the basket also spins around at the same time. It blew my mind then and it still can make me hard just thinking about it. I think my wife would think I’m nuts if I brought it up — and even if she doesn’t, it’s not the kind of fantasy you can just play out in your bedroom.” —Dom L., 38, Brooklyn, N.Y.
6. “I want her to ride my face.”
“Instead of always waiting for me to go down on her, I want my wife to sit on my face without asking or mentioning it. I want her to ride my face and make me lick her as hard as she wants until she comes.” —Jonathan S., 30, Phoenix, AZ
7. “I wish she would try to dominate me for once.”
“My wife has a lot of rape fantasies that I’m happy to play out with her. But I wish she would try to dominate me for once. Even if she doesn’t want to straight-out peg me, which I’d be open to trying, just be more aggressive. Put a finger up my ass or hold down my arms when we have sex. Anything.” —Craig R., 31, Albany, N.Y.