Read This Before Going Down On Her

Read This Before Going Down On Her

Read This Before Going Down On Her

Cunnilingus hindsight, as with blow jobs and pretty much all sex things, is 20/20. Here, 8 women share the hard-earned wisdom they wish they’d known before going down on a woman for the first time.

1. “One thing for sure that I wish I would’ve known before going down on a woman for the first time is to ask what she likes. I’m bisexual and before this I had many sexual encounters with men who didn’t really know what they were doing. So, when I went down on this woman I wasn’t really sure what to do. I had tried to replicate what had been done to me in the past, but she didn’t really seem to be enjoying it so I just kind of gave up. Every woman is different. Some women don’t like vaginal penetration, some don’t like anal penetration, the list could go on and on. What you love most could be something your partner hates most. Mainly though, my advice is always ask, and don’t just assume what your partner likes.” —Madi, 18

2. I think it’s all about truly focusing on your partner and not yourself. I used to (and sometimes still am) self conscious because I’m worried she won’t enjoy it, but it’s all about focusing on her. How her body reacts, how her breath shifts to be more intense and faster, how her back arches, and especially how her body twitches in a particular way when you’ve hit a sensitive spot. I wish I would’ve known this before I had first gone down on a girl. It’s also terrifying not completely visibly seeing where the clitoris is when you’re, excuse my bluntness, tongue deep in a woman and literally cannot see anything. You have to just close your eyes and feel. It can get pretty intense, especially when your partner starts getting closer to climaxing. It’s not always the easiest, but it’s rewarding when you see and feel them finish.” —Bekah, 21

3. “One thing I wish I’d known the first time I went down on a woman was not to assume that they’d like you to fuck them with your tongue. There’s so much more you that you can do to pleasure them than going straight for her vagina. I love teasing and switching things up between biting the inner thighs to flicking her clit and changing the tempo. Good head is the best gift anyone can give. —Ali, 23

4. “One thing I wish I knew is how different the feeling and sensation would be when actually physically making contact with their vagina. And yes, there’s a ‘taste,’ and every woman ‘tastes’ unique. Every woman likes something different too, and some climax easier than others. Emotions do play a part during sex, too… But consent is key, don’t assume your partner wants to be fingered, or wants oral, just ask, ‘Hey, can I finger you?’ , or “Hey can I use this toy…” Also an important question: ‘Have you been tested lately?’ Those are my top tips. Be honest with your comfort level with the situation and that person. Go with your gut!” —Maria, 22

5. “Be confident. Even if you’re not confident, pretend you are and fake it ’til you make it. It will turn into real confidence. One thing I wish I’d thought more about for my first time going down on a woman is that there is definite technique and it’s not all about the tongue.Light tongue and teasing are just as crucial as the intense tongue action. Build up to it. The experience is normally great. There’s nothing better than pleasing someone in such an intimate way.” —Shira, 18

6. “The first time I had no idea what I was doing and my partner definitely faked it instead of guiding me. I may or may not have said ‘ew’ at one point. I know, terrible! But she loves me enough to stick around! My best advice would be to find the clit and make circles around it, start very slow and increasingly go faster, can’t go wrong with that one! Even though my first experience was probably not fun for either one of us, I learned, and It’s fun to have your partner squirm in pleasure. If you’re not good at oral, find one thing you’re good at and do that consistently.—Dani, 23

7. “One thing I wish I’d known before going down on a woman is that our sensitivities can change based on where we are in our cycle. Because of that the experience needs to be a bit different accordingly. Take your time. Start slow to figure out her sensitivity and work up to the speed and pressure. Trace around it and on it with your fingers and tongue. Teasing goes a long way. Once it’s really flowing, don’t be afraid to stick that tongue all the way in her. It’ll probably surprise her and might also drive her wild. Women are goddesses for real. Love her like you both are one and when you’re both done, you’ll both remember it.” —Jaime, 23

8. “I wish I’d known a few things. First I wish I knew that even though I was a lesbian I didn’t have to go down on a woman if I didn’t want to, and I often felt a pressure to do so. I didn’t feel this pressure from partners for the most part, but from society. I feel like in the lesbian community we put a lot of pressure on each other to have oral sex, but you don’t have to. I also wish I had some understanding of safe sex as a teenager. It was always, “You’re gay! You don’t need sex-ed!” I still don’t see women using dental dams or anything. I first went down on a girl when I was 16 and I was with my first girlfriend. I remember being very self conscious of how I smelled and how my pubic hair was trimmed. I guess I wish I knew that women typically don’t care. Most women I’ve been with have been nice.” —Sarah*, 21

What are your thoughts?

Staff

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